Saturday, April 19, 2008

GNFC

Being at a boarding school at such a young age was not easy, although it was at times fun. It did get more nerve-wracking the older I got, and the more independent I became, which I think was a sign that I was healthier than I thought, and ready to live my own life.

Every day for the first years we were there, we were hit with a switch by our dorm matrons. Every day we received knuckle whacks by our teachers. Every day someone in the dining hall would get whacked on the top of the head with a serving spoon. Everyday we got dragged around by our earlobes.

One year the debate team even had to take on the adage “Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child”. Pity the children who had to come up with the pros of getting beaten. But in this institution, corporal punishment by seniors on to juniors was encouraged. I think it must have been about instilling a sense of false empowerment, thus encouraging the vicious cycle of abuses.

I was not athletic, not particularly popular, but not particularly unpopular. I spent my days avoiding the bullies, teachers and especially the American “guides”, who always seemed to find me and proceed to psycho-analyze some flaw of mine. The older I got, the more I stuck to activities like drawing, reading, playing cards, skateboarding, listening to rock n’ roll on my walkman (when I had batteries), or drinking tea. I did little studying but managed to get good grades. I consider myself one of the more fortunate ones because I could coast pretty well. Not all children could adapt to life without their parents – and these were the ones that I really feel for – somehow these children were the target of multiple daily abuses and punishments, and the more they were punished the harder it became for them to cope. Imagine parents knowingly sending their children into an institutionally abusive environment like this! These must have been some pretty heavy orders.

Parents in 3HO still send their children away to India to a school called Miri Piri Academy.

3 comments:

  1. AnonymousJuly 02, 2008

    Hello from Colorado, where I am a parent of two (now)adults, who, as children, were students at Guru Nanak 5th Centenary School in Mussoorie, UP, India.I have just finished reading all of the entries on your blog and I am in tears. I left 3HO long ago due to my perception that it was quite dysfunctional and I was not a happy person , but am now experiencing a growing realization of the severe damage that was potentially inflicted upon our beloved children. I was particularly touched by the comment that Kelly's parents (I think it was...) tend to not accept responsibility for what happened to the kids in India, because I have been living under the same delusion for 31 years...that I was merely a parent trying to do the right thing for my kids by sending them away to a foreign environment to be "trained"; well, my kids survived and I am proud to say that they are healthy humans in spite of the India debaucle, but I can see that I have a lot of work to do with my issues around what happened in India. I heartily concur that Nanak Dev was a tyrant, completely un-educated in child psychology, and more into stroking himself than truly assisting the children. I visited in India more than once and saw personally the terror that his presence, "discipline" and activities evoked. Thank you for including his email address, as I will soon write to him and share my thoughts. I will follow your blog and try to share it with my son and daughter...perhaps some meaningful resolution of issues related to the "India experience" can still be gained. Thank you for opening this topic up for me again, best wishes that it is a helpful tool for those who have suffered in the past and now also seek meaningful resolution.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for commenting. It makes me so happy to hear that these memories I'm sharing are possibly having a positive (though hard) effect. I wish you the best in working with your kids - as they are probably friends of mine to this day, and I only wish them the best too.

    Isn't great though, that the large majority of us Indiakids are not in 3HO, and are productive and functional?

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousMay 13, 2009

    OMG, I thought I was alone. I could have wrote that post word for word. I was sent to GNFC in 1986. I dont have very fond memories at all. The physical and mental abuse was unparalleled. I believe that those negative experiences made me a stronger person. I can survive anything. I have a great life and have been successful in all of my endeavors. I am a firefighter/EMT, have 2 beautiful children and a great wife. Being a parent of 2 kids, I can't even fathom sending my children to a 3rd world country. I think my parents must have had an emotional disconnect. Your right, 3HO is a cult. I look forward to further posts.

    ReplyDelete