Can someone regret something even if they've never apologized for their role?

Last week, Dr. Dre issued a public apology to the women he beat up back in the N.W.A. times. While it reeks of PR, it's still a step in the right direction. Perhaps now he can put his money where his mouth is and donate to causes that prevent domestic violence, and to those that help victims of domestic abuse.

And here we are. Looking at domestic violence and physical abuse through the lens of Popular Culture, as if it happens elsewhere. No. Abuse in 3HO Sikh Dharma was (and likely is) right in our own homes, schools and institutions.

Yet, to date, not one adult Guide who was in India while we were in school there has ever come out publicly or apologized publicly. Yes, Nanak Dev is deceased, so it's too late to hear those words from the person who was most abusive. But there were plenty others that were both abusive themselves and/or complicit in not doing anything while kids were being beaten.

I find this to be shameful.

If rappers can do it, why can't they? Maybe it has to do with real regret, as opposed to lip-service regret. Maybe none of them really regret their behavior? Maybe they don't think it was wrong? Maybe they are too fragile? Maybe they struggled to get back on their feet after India that they just needed to re-establish themselves, forgetting about all the young adults that had their own futures ahead of them? Maybe it didn't occur to them that the kids they beat and the kids they watched being beaten will take those involuntary scars with them for a lifetime.

Like Dee Barnes said "I have a souvenir I never wanted".

No one wants those kinds of souvenirs. The people who inflict harm on others are culpable until their victims get justice. Bottom line. There is no other way to have a civilized society.

If our childhood Guides think it's okay to simply go on, holding their heads high against the reality of what they have done, they are wrong. One man has chosen to take it to his grave. Will the rest of them follow suit, or will they do the right thing?

"No one imagines themselves as so fragile to ever let something as sinister as a cult take control of their minds. I didn’t think anyone would ever tell me how to think and when to think it. We all believe we’re above such things and only stupid people could fall for that. "

-- Carmen Llywelyn

Read her entire op-ed piece on leaving Scientology published in Gawker

And so, here ends a senseless chapter

Nanak Dev Singh, the notorious tormentor of the 3HO children at G.N.F.C. boarding school, has died. Cause of death was apparently a massive heart attack.

My initial reaction to news of his death was "I hope it was neither quick, nor painless".

But vindication does not come in the act of dying. Nevertheless, there are times when you wish there really is a Hell.

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Realistically though, wishing there was a special place in Hell for child abusers and sociopaths doesn't do anything but give comfort to us, the walking wounded.

But what brings greater satisfaction is knowing that it's too late for redemption. Because redemption is something one must seek in life. If Nanak Dev Singh had made some efforts to reconcile and make things right with those he hurt – ALL of them – he could have had a chance at forgiveness. Instead, he ran away and hid. Furthermore, he re-framed his narrative. He glorified himself. And in doing so he (and his sympathizers too) denied the experiences of all the children he so profoundly affected. The kids that he abused, traumatized, harassed and yes, tortured, were ignored.

Meanwhile, there was a human heart that was, quite literally, hardening.

Don't let YOUR heart harden. Strive for a better life – a life filled with joys big and small, of compassion, of open-mindedness, and even of redemption.

Take solace in knowing that we can be different from them.

Either way, that's one less asshole on the planet.

So now they have a treatment for Sexual Abuse?

Found this article "Reclaiming Your Innocence"

Wondering...

Would this be the same treatment recommended for the 3HO children who experienced sexual and physical abuse while at 3HO led boarding schools in India?

Would this be the same treatment for 3HO children who experienced sexual and physical abuse at Khalsa Children's Camp?

Would this be the very same treatment for 3HO young women who were emotionally and sexually abused and coerced into sex acts with their spiritual leader Yogi Bhajan?