Okay, so I decided to go ahead talk to both Olive Branch and to SatNam at the office of legal counsel after all.
Why though, after such a vehement position?
I had to give a lot of thought to this. It's not healing to revisit our abuses, and it's important to do so in a safe space. In this way, any decision to talk had better come with a compelling reason to do so, knowing full well that it's a fallacy to expect an institution to fix itself with its own policy construct, even when that might be informed by important critical input.
It's like expecting malignant cancer cells to reverse their own metastatic process all by themselves.
And this is what we are doing. Which means once again it's on us to speak up, but its also on us to hold no expectation for results. There's no compelling reason to contribute when there's nothing a posteriori that would compel them – this time – to meet the bare minimum of what is right.
Still. Why then?
All I can say is that maybe there is an emotional need to speak and be heard, even though it may not be realistic, or amount to anything.
I keep saying "no more time given". And yet, I keep going back to that well, hoping there might be a drop of water in it. And that well has been dry for a really long time. And the drought seems likely to continue.
Showing posts with label Yogi Tea. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Yogi Tea. Show all posts
Sunday, April 12, 2020
Thursday, March 19, 2020
Correspondence with An-Olive-Branch.org (a long read)
The Siri Singh Sahib Corporation Collaborative Response Team has decided to team up with a religious non-profit organization called An Olive Branch to conduct an independent investigation into the recent allegations of sexual misconduct by its leader Yogi Bhajan.
Below is my letter from March 11 2020 to An Olive Branch regarding the issues that I feel are most important to SGA's:
I waited and had no idea what would come of my email. I didn't receive an auto reply (the lowest bar for trust-building, IMHO). Then, on March 16th I got this:
Indiakids Blog reply March 18:
And, here's what she wrote after that:
She also forwarded an FAQ from the Siri Singh Sahib Response Team.
Okay, so let's talk about this, these circuitous efforts by 3HO to gird themselves from responsibility.
In my first email I said "We cannot be sure that our stories of abuse won't be handed directly to our abusers to do with them what they please".
It was met with a defensive tack, "I assure you that stories of abuse will not be “handed directly” to the abusers!" and goes on to say that other people must just have a higher trust level than me. (So, something must be wrong with me then, I take it? This is gaslighting, defined.)
After I had to explain the difference between implicit trust and explicit trustworthiness, I was given two options. The first option is to agree to talk with AnOliveBranch, but restrict my content strictly to firsthand experiences with Yogi Bhajan. The second option is to take my child abuse, swapping, and boarding school complaints directly to the lawyers for 3HO.
Meaning, hand our stories directly to our abusers. Are they trying to break my brain?
Why though? Surely this offshoot organization of the Zen Center of Pittsburgh cares about the welfare of children raised in the spiritual communities they purport to assist. Hmmm?
In the SSScorp CRT FAQ there's this, below is a screenshot from https://www.ssscresponseteam.org/faq (in case this changes later)
Text: Will the investigator/An Olive Branch report accounts of abuse to the legal authorities?
Members of An Olive Branch’s staff are mandatory reporters of child and elder abuse. They will report accounts of abuse to the authorities as required by law.
They will report accounts of abuse to the authorities as required by law.
Meaning? AnOliveBranch is made up of mandated reporters, people who are required by law to report instances of child abuse, childhood neglect and child sexual abuse. It doesn't even matter when it could have happened. If they know, they have to report. And that is why we are being told–by AnOliveBranch–to take our stories –stories of abuse, neglect and sexual abuse that took place when we were children–back to 3HO's legal department... um, like "directly to our abusers... to do with what they wish?".
This right here? This is in NO WAY an olive branch. An olive branch is an extension of reconciliation and atonement. And it's not a Catch-22 either. This is more like a Morton's Fork, in which we are being asked to choose between two equally unpleasant scenarios. Or a Hobson's Choice, in which we are asked to 'take it or leave it'. Or possibly a Buridan's Ass, in which we (the asses) are placed mid-way between two life-sustaining objects, and we become paralyzed when faced with which one to turn to first.
Sigh.
I replied to Katheryn one final time:
That is really all that needs to be said. If they can't grasp that our abuse was institutional and systemic, it's their failure. Any hope for a good-faith effort was undone by the sum total of the above (bad-faith and gaslighting) correspondence.
What now?
Nothing. Definitely no interview. Reconciliation is highly unlikely and we are re-traumatizing ourselves by doing to majority of the intellectual labor, only to be ignored and dismissed time and again. There is nothing more to do other than to push ahead with our lives and do what's best for ourselves to heal and to learn to love ourselves and care for ourselves and the people in our lives.
Below is my letter from March 11 2020 to An Olive Branch regarding the issues that I feel are most important to SGA's:
To whom it may concern,
I was born and raised in 3HO Sikh Dharma Kundalini Yoga and found this email address through the Siri Singh Sahib Corporation's Collaborative Response Team website. I write this email on behalf of people who were born and raised in this community, and who do not feel safe to come forward with their stories.
The trauma in our lives under this community was repeatedly present. We were child swapped, neglected, sent away to long camps, and shipped off to boarding school in India, some of us at ages as young as five. We were abused physically, abused spiritually and abused sexually. We were bullied, coerced into arranged marriages and corralled into low paying jobs in companies owned by Sikh Dharma. If someone decided to leave the community, Yogi Bhajan ordered his devotees to stop communicating with them.
The lasting affects of this traumatic upbringing have been profoundly difficult. Yet in spite of this difficulty many of the Second Generation Adults have spoken up to the religious leaders about it–about the trauma, the neglect and the abuse while we were children in this organization. To this day 3HO has never heard us or taken responsibility. All they have done is deny, dismiss and deflect.
Because of their repeated inaction many of us lost trust decades ago. And given our previous experience, you cannot expect us to now trust your process of information gathering. There is no guarantee of privacy or confidentiality with the way you have it set up–a special inbox people must email to. We cannot be sure that our stories of abuse won't be handed directly to our abusers to do with them what they please.
Furthermore, your entire process is too opaque to expect to be able to build trust with survivors. For one, your organization has not provided citations of previous work you have done in this field. And I could not find any contact information for anyone who works at the organization. Tax filings are not made public, and are sheltered by IRS religious exemption. The only thing I could find was an article written about a report you created for Shambala International, which describes how lacking it was in substance and action on the part of Shambala International.
From the survivor's perspective, at appears that your process and participation are an attempt to help the Yogi Bhajan organization sanitize its image so that they may continue conducting business as usual. And this is just not good enough. You'll need to do more and you'll need to do better if you genuinely want to hear from people, and if you genuinely want your work as independent investigators to have any letigimacy. As is stands now, I personally can't trust you with my own stories. I thought you should know this, because I hope it will provide you an opportunity to consider changing your approach to make it more transparent and more protective of the privacy of the survivors.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
"K" from the Indiakids Blog
I waited and had no idea what would come of my email. I didn't receive an auto reply (the lowest bar for trust-building, IMHO). Then, on March 16th I got this:
Dear K,
My name is Katheryn Wiedman. I received your March 11 message sent to yb.investigation@an-olive-branch.org. I am the person leading the Yogi Bhajan investigation. I apologize for not replying until today. Reading and re-reading your message, as I have done several times, has left me a bit paralyzed: I struggle with knowing where to begin….except to express profound sadness that the brightness and joy of childhood was stolen from you and so many other innocent children. That many in this “second generation” have had the courage to speak up to 3HO leaders is remarkable. After the repeated denials and dismissals by those leaders though, it is no wonder that you and others do not feel safe bringing your stories now to An Olive Branch.
Although you may dismiss my reply to your assertions about An Olive Branch, I feel it necessary to comment – in hopes that you and others may be willing to try one more time to have your voices heard.
Regarding the “special inbox”: We needed to establish a dedicated email address in order to handle the large influx of messages. I assure you that stories of abuse will not be “handed directly” to the abusers! Many other people have been contacting us at the yb.investigation@an-olive-branch.org address – but then their trust level must be higher than yours.
Regarding citations of our previous work: The work we do for client organizations is confidential. We do not participate in the social media environment or tout our client list, but sometimes an organization announces that it is working with An Olive Branch as was the case with Shambhala. You may look at our report by following the link at the beginning of this article: https://www.lionsroar.com/shambhala-releases-olive-branch-report-detailing-allegations-of-abuse-in-community/ Then you can decide for yourself if it was “lacking in substance.”
Regarding our contact information: We do not publish our private telephone numbers. You wouldn’t either if you knew some of the cases we work with. Our pictures are on our website and anyone can reach us at the “support” email address. We are NOT hiding!
Regarding our handling of confidential material: We correspond individually with people who reach out to us. No group emails. Ever. We arrange a time for a private, confidential interview – preferably via video-conferencing but by phone if the person does not want to use video. And if a person does not want an interview, they can submit their story via written narrative. The only people who have access to our files are the three co-directors of An Olive Branch – two of us are handling this project (Leslie Hospodar and me). The third co-director, Barbara Gray, is working on other projects. The three of us consult one another as needed but the investigation information will never be shared beyond that. In our investigation report all information will be anonymous unless the person asks us to identify them.
Well… I have to stop now… I feel that those who want to find fault with An Olive Branch will do so quite independently of anything I write. Perhaps it will help you to know that other second generation people are coming forward and their experiences will be heard and reported. We remain open to hearing from you – either in an interview or via your written account.
Sincerely, Katheryn
Indiakids Blog reply March 18:
Dear Katheryn,
Thank you for your reply. I am open to an in person interview with you. Your response to me is reassuring. However, it is important to me to point out that words still require the backbone of real, concrete action. Might I suggest adding a few good faith measures in order to engender more trust among those with stories of abuse of power?
If you wanted to add an extra layer of confidentiality, you could create input forms in google forms which would give people the option to be anonymous, or to share their contact information for further data gathering, with added layers of privacy in this process.
Another simple, yet effective thing you could do is set up an auto-reply on the inbox with three things:
- A clear and concise privacy and confidentiality statement
- A statement that would clearly demonstrate your methods for neutrality in the process.
- A statement on how your report will guarantee both privacy to the accusers and transparency of the organization.
Of particular great concern is the welfare of the most vulnerable: those who were sexually abused as children. It takes enormous courage and vulnerability to come forward, and it is well known that people will not come forward if survivors feel that nothing will be done. In past cases in 3HO, Law Enforcement was never contacted when a victim came forward. Perhaps it would be most helpful to them to outline a plan that you put in place for reporting on criminal activity such as this.
I'm glad to hear AnOliveBranch is getting emails, yet I do not think it should be taken as a sign of implicit trust, as implicit trust can be un-earned when good-faith measures are not taken. In this way, explicit trustworthiness could be offered. Please consider this: whatever email count you are currently receiving is likely due to the sheer volume of problems in the 3HO organization. Think of them as the tip of the iceberg. For every one person that comes forward, I can comfortably say that there are probably ten people that are not. A few simple steps on your part could create a sea-change and begin to paint a much more realistic picture of what has been going on at 3HO for five decades.
Please feel free to get in touch if you have any questions or want to talk to me in person.
Thanks,
"K"
And, here's what she wrote after that:
Dear K,
Thanks for your message and openness to an interview.
Before going into the details of how the interviews work and setting one up, I want to share the “boundaries” of our investigation so you can determine whether your experience puts you in that frame.
There are two paths for reporting:
1. The investigation’s scope of work is to collect testimony from people who had direct, personal experience of abuse or witnessed abuse at the hands of Yogi Bhajan, or at his behest by a Secretary, or someone in his inner circle. The abuse includes sex with YB or people in his inner circle, grooming for sex, psychological abuse (shaming, bullying, imprisonment, etc.), and physical abuse (punching, kicking, inadequate nutrition, etc.). These messages should be sent to me at yb.investigation@an-olive-branch.org.
2. Child abuse allegations such as those referenced in your email – child swapping, sending kids off to India to live, physical, spiritual, sexual, and emotional abuse at the hands of people appointed by YB – are being handled separately and should be reported to Sat Nam Singh, an attorney in the Office of Dharmic Counsel ( satnamsingh@ssscorp.org ). I realize that people who have suffered harm may not want to "try again" to submit their claims to anyone in SSSC, though. And if people send their allegations of child abuse to me, I would be breaking confidentiality to forward those messages to ODC. Catch 22?
I have re-read both of your messages, trying to discern your role. Will you please let me know if you are on “path #1, above? I will then work with you to find an agreeable date+time for an interview.
You said you were writing “on behalf of people who were born and raised in this community, and who do not feel safe to come forward with their stories.” I hope you understand that the investigation requires direct experience, first-hand testimony. You can certainly refer others to the two paths above so they can file their own first-hand report – either through an email or a written statement.
I appreciate the ideas you put forward; we are working to implement the three statements you suggested.
We understand that some people may never come forward because of the harm suffered as children and the previous lack of response from 3HO.
Sincerely, Katheryn
She also forwarded an FAQ from the Siri Singh Sahib Response Team.
Okay, so let's talk about this, these circuitous efforts by 3HO to gird themselves from responsibility.
In my first email I said "We cannot be sure that our stories of abuse won't be handed directly to our abusers to do with them what they please".
It was met with a defensive tack, "I assure you that stories of abuse will not be “handed directly” to the abusers!" and goes on to say that other people must just have a higher trust level than me. (So, something must be wrong with me then, I take it? This is gaslighting, defined.)
After I had to explain the difference between implicit trust and explicit trustworthiness, I was given two options. The first option is to agree to talk with AnOliveBranch, but restrict my content strictly to firsthand experiences with Yogi Bhajan. The second option is to take my child abuse, swapping, and boarding school complaints directly to the lawyers for 3HO.
Meaning, hand our stories directly to our abusers. Are they trying to break my brain?
Why though? Surely this offshoot organization of the Zen Center of Pittsburgh cares about the welfare of children raised in the spiritual communities they purport to assist. Hmmm?
In the SSScorp CRT FAQ there's this, below is a screenshot from https://www.ssscresponseteam.org/faq (in case this changes later)
Text: Will the investigator/An Olive Branch report accounts of abuse to the legal authorities?
Members of An Olive Branch’s staff are mandatory reporters of child and elder abuse. They will report accounts of abuse to the authorities as required by law.
They will report accounts of abuse to the authorities as required by law.
Meaning? AnOliveBranch is made up of mandated reporters, people who are required by law to report instances of child abuse, childhood neglect and child sexual abuse. It doesn't even matter when it could have happened. If they know, they have to report. And that is why we are being told–by AnOliveBranch–to take our stories –stories of abuse, neglect and sexual abuse that took place when we were children–back to 3HO's legal department... um, like "directly to our abusers... to do with what they wish?".
This right here? This is in NO WAY an olive branch. An olive branch is an extension of reconciliation and atonement. And it's not a Catch-22 either. This is more like a Morton's Fork, in which we are being asked to choose between two equally unpleasant scenarios. Or a Hobson's Choice, in which we are asked to 'take it or leave it'. Or possibly a Buridan's Ass, in which we (the asses) are placed mid-way between two life-sustaining objects, and we become paralyzed when faced with which one to turn to first.
Sigh.
I replied to Katheryn one final time:
My role is both. #1 and #2.
I was a child brought up in 3HO who experienced swapping, boarding school, neglect and abuse (physical, emotional and spiritual), as well as experiencing shaming, bullying, verbal abuse and excommunication from Yogi Bhajan himself.
That is really all that needs to be said. If they can't grasp that our abuse was institutional and systemic, it's their failure. Any hope for a good-faith effort was undone by the sum total of the above (bad-faith and gaslighting) correspondence.
What now?
Nothing. Definitely no interview. Reconciliation is highly unlikely and we are re-traumatizing ourselves by doing to majority of the intellectual labor, only to be ignored and dismissed time and again. There is nothing more to do other than to push ahead with our lives and do what's best for ourselves to heal and to learn to love ourselves and care for ourselves and the people in our lives.
Wednesday, March 4, 2020
It is not our responsibility to make them see. IT IS THEIR FAILURE TO LOOK.
This post is for my fellow SGA's. To the 1st generation: I see you, but I'm not here to talk to you right now.
SGA's: if you are having conflicting emotions, it's okay. It's okay to want to take some aspects of your upbringing, leave others behind, and make the most of who you see yourself to be. You may be middle aged, and this stuff is far in the rearview mirror. You may be a millennial, and grew up in a time when Yogi Bhajan was older, sicker, made fewer public appearances, and rarely met with his "students" one-on-one (unless, of course, it was for *that*). You may have grown up in this group after he died, and you have had no personal experience with the person. Or maybe you had only good experiences with him, or what you interpreted to be good experiences at the time. We all have differing points-of-departure.
For me, it was dealbreaker enough to see the baseline manner in which Yogi Bhajan conducted himself publicly. And I really didn't appreciate the way he spoke to me when I was just a teenager, just home from India, still completely unaware of my traumatized body and brain. He told me "Bitch, cunt, you will be nothing more than a drug addict prostitute lying in the gutter". Huh. That's not how I expected my "grandfather" to speak to me.
Fast forward to now, and to you. Wherever you are at, you may be bearing witness to some explosive online discourse all around a series of events that took place way back when you were a little kid (stuck in India), or you weren't even born yet. True or not (all true, actually)... you might be feeling like, "this seems to be missing the point". You might be frustrated at the 'talking over' nature of these 'conversations'. And you might start to feel... I hate to say it but... invisible. Again. And, yes. It IS enraging.
Why? Because this explosive online discourse doesn't have anything to do with us, the 2nd generation (yet at least... shudder). That being the case, you have full permission to unburden yourself from their (1st generation's) never-ending cascading waterfall of drama. Remember: They caused this. We are the casualties of their poor decisions. We matter. And you know what? We matter more. And your children matter even more than you.
Sigh. This so-called reckoning. Will it prevent the next predator to enlist himself (or herself) as the next 'guide' at Miri Piri Academy? Will it prevent 3HO Sikh Dharma from sweeping it under the carpet and sheltering that predator or abuser from the law? Will it stop the true believers from engaging in herculean feats of mental gymnastics, all to convince themselves it's all good, let's keep things the way they are? Will it?
Because anything that stops short of that–meaning, the full scope of legal consequences for child abusers–is not a reckoning. It's a hand-wringing. We don't need more hand-wringing. We don't need more shock and horror and new-agey woo woo karma aquarian age astral plane excuse-making.
Yes, I admit I feel angry and cynical. That's why I keep this blog! But this cynicism–I do think it's actually an okay feeling to have right now. It is in fact very healthy for us to NOT expect any real reckoning or action to change things for the better. The realness about 3HO Sikh Dharma Kundalini Yoga and the boarding schools has always been right in front of everyone's noses, all this time.
With that being said, all SGA's have a right to tell your story, any time, and in any way you want. Your life is yours to tell. Know though that it's not going to be easy. It's very emotionally triggering and really, it's always only going to be just one aspect of your recovery. You really need to be actively talking to a professional, licensed therapist either way. If you're not doing that, you will find yourself in too vulnerable a spot.
So please, before speaking ask yourself honestly:
Because it's super important to consider your own safety and wellbeing first. And it's important to consider your children's safety and wellbeing too.
SGA's: if you are having conflicting emotions, it's okay. It's okay to want to take some aspects of your upbringing, leave others behind, and make the most of who you see yourself to be. You may be middle aged, and this stuff is far in the rearview mirror. You may be a millennial, and grew up in a time when Yogi Bhajan was older, sicker, made fewer public appearances, and rarely met with his "students" one-on-one (unless, of course, it was for *that*). You may have grown up in this group after he died, and you have had no personal experience with the person. Or maybe you had only good experiences with him, or what you interpreted to be good experiences at the time. We all have differing points-of-departure.
For me, it was dealbreaker enough to see the baseline manner in which Yogi Bhajan conducted himself publicly. And I really didn't appreciate the way he spoke to me when I was just a teenager, just home from India, still completely unaware of my traumatized body and brain. He told me "Bitch, cunt, you will be nothing more than a drug addict prostitute lying in the gutter". Huh. That's not how I expected my "grandfather" to speak to me.
Fast forward to now, and to you. Wherever you are at, you may be bearing witness to some explosive online discourse all around a series of events that took place way back when you were a little kid (stuck in India), or you weren't even born yet. True or not (all true, actually)... you might be feeling like, "this seems to be missing the point". You might be frustrated at the 'talking over' nature of these 'conversations'. And you might start to feel... I hate to say it but... invisible. Again. And, yes. It IS enraging.
Why? Because this explosive online discourse doesn't have anything to do with us, the 2nd generation (yet at least... shudder). That being the case, you have full permission to unburden yourself from their (1st generation's) never-ending cascading waterfall of drama. Remember: They caused this. We are the casualties of their poor decisions. We matter. And you know what? We matter more. And your children matter even more than you.
Sigh. This so-called reckoning. Will it prevent the next predator to enlist himself (or herself) as the next 'guide' at Miri Piri Academy? Will it prevent 3HO Sikh Dharma from sweeping it under the carpet and sheltering that predator or abuser from the law? Will it stop the true believers from engaging in herculean feats of mental gymnastics, all to convince themselves it's all good, let's keep things the way they are? Will it?
Because anything that stops short of that–meaning, the full scope of legal consequences for child abusers–is not a reckoning. It's a hand-wringing. We don't need more hand-wringing. We don't need more shock and horror and new-agey woo woo karma aquarian age astral plane excuse-making.
Yes, I admit I feel angry and cynical. That's why I keep this blog! But this cynicism–I do think it's actually an okay feeling to have right now. It is in fact very healthy for us to NOT expect any real reckoning or action to change things for the better. The realness about 3HO Sikh Dharma Kundalini Yoga and the boarding schools has always been right in front of everyone's noses, all this time.
With that being said, all SGA's have a right to tell your story, any time, and in any way you want. Your life is yours to tell. Know though that it's not going to be easy. It's very emotionally triggering and really, it's always only going to be just one aspect of your recovery. You really need to be actively talking to a professional, licensed therapist either way. If you're not doing that, you will find yourself in too vulnerable a spot.
So please, before speaking ask yourself honestly:
- Is it safe for me to speak?
- Can I trust this person (these people) with my story?
- If it doesn't feel safe for me to speak, then why?
- Am I in a safe space personally to speak up?
- Who can I lean on when I'm hurting?
- Who will catch me if I fall?
Because it's super important to consider your own safety and wellbeing first. And it's important to consider your children's safety and wellbeing too.
To All The Fence-Sitters, Ask Yourselves:
What's more important?
Another hint: There's only one correct answer.
Final hint: if you have even an ounce of hesitation as to what the answer is, then, surprise! You're not on the fence! You're a full blown card-carrying member of a cult. And you blew it.
- The safety, privacy and security of children or
- The public image of my church/company/organization.
Another hint: There's only one correct answer.
Final hint: if you have even an ounce of hesitation as to what the answer is, then, surprise! You're not on the fence! You're a full blown card-carrying member of a cult. And you blew it.
Tuesday, March 3, 2020
To the New Wave of Kundalini Yoga Gurus
Um, your boy is a dud.
The below excerpt is from a draft in 2018. I decided to go ahead and publish it because I think it's funny. It's now 2020 and stupid people are still arguing whether Yogi Bhajan is real or not. I'm grabbing my popcorn.
[January 2018]
3HO Sikh Dharma and Kundalini Yoga seem to be having a trending moment. Yogi Tea is everywhere. By the way, it tastes disgusting, and its profits get funneled through a giant multi-million dollar private security firm. Kundalini Yoga is hip and cool on Instagram, and I have even seen Yogi Bhajan memes and quotes on my own feed (gross). And what's alarming is that today there are dozens or maybe even hundreds of individuals – from 1st generation members, to 2nd generation 'indiakids', to recent converts – trying to make a brand for themselves under the banner of Kundalini Yoga as Taught by Yogi Bhajan (Registered Trademark).
It's nothing new, and I really don't want to write a blog post aimed at taking anyone down. I honestly feel that if these people are so self-absorbed, vain or greedy, they are not worth it.
It's easy to go on social media and think that these guru wannabe's like Gurujas or Gurumukh or Guru-whatever - are succeeding with promoting the work of a false prophet and horrible human being. I don't like seeing that these people have tens of thousands of followers. The only thing that helps me is to remind myself that "followers do not equal real members", but more likely is reflective of some kind of sycophantic feedback loop.
Today's Kundalini Yoga woo-woo-ness triggers me in a strong way. It's eerie enough that what preceeds it is an unquestioned, and artificial version of ancient, valid and very sacred rites from the Pranayama. The Pranayama is a scripture in the Patanjali, which is one of the ancient Vedic scriptures of the Hindu religion.
From what I know (and I'm not much of a Hindu scholar, just saying) Kundalini is a term in the Pranayama, however Kundalini Yoga™ has no basis in this scripture. None. And Yogi Bhajan was not a Yogi. Nor was he a scholar. Of Vedic scriptures. Or of any scripture for that matter. And he wasn't the "Mahan Tantric". Because no such title exists.
Yogi Bhajan aka Siri Singh Sahib aka Mahan Tantric aka Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji is really only one person: Harbhajan Singh Puri. He was born in 1929 near what is now Lahore, Pakistan. He relocated to India after Partition. Then, he went to work as a Customs Official in New Delhi. To the 2nd generation Indiakids – those of us who were sent away to boarding school in India – it's common knowledge. When I was sent to India in 1983, I innocently assumed our classmates would know who "Siri Singh Sahib" was, because, you know, we were in India. But when we were met with looks of confusion by the Punjabi Sikhs in our school, we kinda figured out that it was bullshit. And the titles he gave to ashram leaders in the U.S. – Singh Sahib and Sardarni Sahib? Those don't come from traditional Sikh community standards either.
So, if Yogi Bhajan isn't actually a Yogi, and he didn't really learn all that stuff from a previous "Mahan Tantric" - who he claimed was a Tibetan Master, and who mysteriously vanished along with all records of his existence once YB arrived in the US... then what is Kundalini Yoga?
A completely invented, knock-off 'brand' of fiction and marketing. Period.
And it's SO disrespectful for people in the west to be pretending it's anything else. It's bad enough that practically all of Yoga has been hijacked by white people who have absolutely no understanding of India's history, no understanding of the history of Hinduism, and no understanding of Sanskrit. It's bad enough that Yoga has been so colonized and whitewashed that it barely registers anymore as something that came from India.
But the new wave of Kundalini Yoga gurus are a special kind of awful from where I sit. They have NO clue what WE went through. None. Or, they do and they don't care. That's even worse.
The Kundalini Yoga trope conveys a creepy homogeneity. A woman in a flowing white gown and a white cap-like turban and flowing chuni, sitting cross legged on a stage at a microphone, her hands raised in a double heil salute gesture. She is back-lit. Behind her is a large brass gong. She is young. She is pretty. And she is white. Their grammy winning song is titled "White Sun".
This trope isn't really new though. It goes all the way back to 1969-1970 when the first group of goras toured India and the Sikh Gurdwaras. During this tour, white women converts heavily pressured the Gurdwara establishment (SGPC) to make exceptions to their gender rules, resulting in a coerced negotiation for (white) women to be allowed a performance of gurubani-kirtan at the Golden Temple. THE Darbar Sahib. Those white women smugly considered it a feminist victory. They did not consider , even for a second, that although got their way, they left a trail of really bad feelings in their wake.
White. White. White. Seriously.
OMG that fucking book title too! What is it... "White Bird in a Golden Cage".
Try whitey bird... Polly wanna cracker?
The below excerpt is from a draft in 2018. I decided to go ahead and publish it because I think it's funny. It's now 2020 and stupid people are still arguing whether Yogi Bhajan is real or not. I'm grabbing my popcorn.
[January 2018]
3HO Sikh Dharma and Kundalini Yoga seem to be having a trending moment. Yogi Tea is everywhere. By the way, it tastes disgusting, and its profits get funneled through a giant multi-million dollar private security firm. Kundalini Yoga is hip and cool on Instagram, and I have even seen Yogi Bhajan memes and quotes on my own feed (gross). And what's alarming is that today there are dozens or maybe even hundreds of individuals – from 1st generation members, to 2nd generation 'indiakids', to recent converts – trying to make a brand for themselves under the banner of Kundalini Yoga as Taught by Yogi Bhajan (Registered Trademark).
It's nothing new, and I really don't want to write a blog post aimed at taking anyone down. I honestly feel that if these people are so self-absorbed, vain or greedy, they are not worth it.
It's easy to go on social media and think that these guru wannabe's like Gurujas or Gurumukh or Guru-whatever - are succeeding with promoting the work of a false prophet and horrible human being. I don't like seeing that these people have tens of thousands of followers. The only thing that helps me is to remind myself that "followers do not equal real members", but more likely is reflective of some kind of sycophantic feedback loop.
Today's Kundalini Yoga woo-woo-ness triggers me in a strong way. It's eerie enough that what preceeds it is an unquestioned, and artificial version of ancient, valid and very sacred rites from the Pranayama. The Pranayama is a scripture in the Patanjali, which is one of the ancient Vedic scriptures of the Hindu religion.
From what I know (and I'm not much of a Hindu scholar, just saying) Kundalini is a term in the Pranayama, however Kundalini Yoga™ has no basis in this scripture. None. And Yogi Bhajan was not a Yogi. Nor was he a scholar. Of Vedic scriptures. Or of any scripture for that matter. And he wasn't the "Mahan Tantric". Because no such title exists.
Yogi Bhajan aka Siri Singh Sahib aka Mahan Tantric aka Siri Singh Sahib Bhai Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji is really only one person: Harbhajan Singh Puri. He was born in 1929 near what is now Lahore, Pakistan. He relocated to India after Partition. Then, he went to work as a Customs Official in New Delhi. To the 2nd generation Indiakids – those of us who were sent away to boarding school in India – it's common knowledge. When I was sent to India in 1983, I innocently assumed our classmates would know who "Siri Singh Sahib" was, because, you know, we were in India. But when we were met with looks of confusion by the Punjabi Sikhs in our school, we kinda figured out that it was bullshit. And the titles he gave to ashram leaders in the U.S. – Singh Sahib and Sardarni Sahib? Those don't come from traditional Sikh community standards either.
So, if Yogi Bhajan isn't actually a Yogi, and he didn't really learn all that stuff from a previous "Mahan Tantric" - who he claimed was a Tibetan Master, and who mysteriously vanished along with all records of his existence once YB arrived in the US... then what is Kundalini Yoga?
A completely invented, knock-off 'brand' of fiction and marketing. Period.
And it's SO disrespectful for people in the west to be pretending it's anything else. It's bad enough that practically all of Yoga has been hijacked by white people who have absolutely no understanding of India's history, no understanding of the history of Hinduism, and no understanding of Sanskrit. It's bad enough that Yoga has been so colonized and whitewashed that it barely registers anymore as something that came from India.
But the new wave of Kundalini Yoga gurus are a special kind of awful from where I sit. They have NO clue what WE went through. None. Or, they do and they don't care. That's even worse.
The Kundalini Yoga trope conveys a creepy homogeneity. A woman in a flowing white gown and a white cap-like turban and flowing chuni, sitting cross legged on a stage at a microphone, her hands raised in a double heil salute gesture. She is back-lit. Behind her is a large brass gong. She is young. She is pretty. And she is white. Their grammy winning song is titled "White Sun".
This trope isn't really new though. It goes all the way back to 1969-1970 when the first group of goras toured India and the Sikh Gurdwaras. During this tour, white women converts heavily pressured the Gurdwara establishment (SGPC) to make exceptions to their gender rules, resulting in a coerced negotiation for (white) women to be allowed a performance of gurubani-kirtan at the Golden Temple. THE Darbar Sahib. Those white women smugly considered it a feminist victory. They did not consider , even for a second, that although got their way, they left a trail of really bad feelings in their wake.
White. White. White. Seriously.
OMG that fucking book title too! What is it... "White Bird in a Golden Cage".
Try whitey bird... Polly wanna cracker?
Sunday, August 26, 2018
Um, what?
How insulting is this:
Hey. Assholes.
RIGHT NOW there are 3HO Sikh Dharma children who are thousands of miles apart from their parents–children who have been separated because Yogi Bhajan told their parents to do it. Told their parents that their "children don't love them". Told their parents that "distance therapy" is a thing. And whose parents put the needs of the cult of Yogi Bhajan and 3HO above the needs of their own children.
There are children who have, who still are, and will continue to experience a profound trauma because of the orders of this man.
A meme doesn't change ANY of this.
Hey. Assholes.
RIGHT NOW there are 3HO Sikh Dharma children who are thousands of miles apart from their parents–children who have been separated because Yogi Bhajan told their parents to do it. Told their parents that their "children don't love them". Told their parents that "distance therapy" is a thing. And whose parents put the needs of the cult of Yogi Bhajan and 3HO above the needs of their own children.
There are children who have, who still are, and will continue to experience a profound trauma because of the orders of this man.
A meme doesn't change ANY of this.
Wednesday, July 4, 2018
Separating children from parents is wrong. Very wrong.
What's happening now–Children being torn from their parents at the US border–might feel all-too personal. It can trigger a lot of unhappy memories.
I have a clear memory of how I felt in my body and in my mind when I was really young and separated from my parents. I remember not feeling, and just being kind of confused and disassociated from reality. And I remember that when I was 'more present', my body and mind were nervous and fidgety. In my first and second years in India, I developed a nervous disorder called Trichotillomania, or compulsive hair pulling. I pulled out all of my eyelashes. Then I got made fun of, so I forced myself to stop so that I wouldn't get made fun of. No adult, teacher, older kid or nurse ever noticed. All I can say about it–in an internal sense–is that I felt like when I was pulling or picking or fidgeting that I was disappearing into an invisibility cloak of my own invention. No one bothered me when I was scrunched up into a little ball minding my own business. And that felt good. Eventually I started to cope with my nervousness through arts and crafts, knitting and needlework– at least as much as I could make time for. Many of us knitted with found yarn and lollipop sticks. Even if it was to knit something, take it out, and start over, that's what we did. So much of our time was spent with these odd, but self-soothing regimens.
Before the camps, the child swapping and the boarding schools, I was actually a confident, happy child. The separation chipped away at my self-esteem and my feeling of security and safety, both emotional and physical. I was able to fake cheerfulness at times, make jokes and laugh, but inside I was deeply insecure. And, gosh, there were so many unsafe situations. Too many to count really. Children getting struck by lighting at Ram Das Puri, Nav Jiwan Kaur falling to her death at Nambé falls, Ong Kar Kaur nearly drowning at Abiquiu, Me and my sister nearly getting killed in a Flash Flood while camping with "guardians"... Then there was the physical abuse, the emotional abuse, the sexual abuse, the neglect and the TOTAL lack of affection.
That last one, that's a major one. Greater than we ever thought. In the absence of it, you don't even know you need it to survive. In the absence of it–the part of you that makes you you–experiences a profound, physical and emotional loss. Your crucial, human sense of self is put at risk.
All of this, while we were supposedly part of a community that believed in love, and in raising the consciousness of the world through compassion, kindness and selfless service. I can't begin to imagine what the children in the I.C.E. detention centers are going through, while under the guardianship of politically motivated, profiteering xenophobes. Okay. Yes, the circumstances for our separation were different than what's happening now, but the resulting affects were no less profound. Separation affects on the mind, body and spirit are traumatic, not matter the circumstance.
Most of us survived and were able to build happy lives for ourselves, and many of us have had the therapy we needed to understand the long-term affects of family separation. This is all the more reason that as survivors we speak up against what our country is doing. We must be there for these children and their parents, in whatever way we can be–financial, political or vocal.
Let me finish with one last thing. I cannot believe, for the life of me, that people in 3HO Sikh Dharma still believe in sending their kids far away to India to attend Miri Piri Academy. It's unfathomable. It's appalling. It's shameful. It's criminal. It's worth noting that 3HO Sikh Dharma profits from the private I.C.E. Detention Centers. Some of the I.C.E. jails contract with Akal Security for the staffing of Corrections Officers. Akal Security is officially owned by 3HO Sikh Dharma, and the some of the profits from Akal Security are used to promote their new-age arm: Kundalini Yoga, White Tantric, Yogi Tea brand tea company, Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training seminars, and their sappy, saccharine music brands like Spirit Voyage and White Sun. This new-age arm puts forward a progressive image, but within its nesting doll structure of for-profit and non-profit entities, 3HO Sikh Dharma as a whole is benefiting from and enriching itself on the horrific policies of our government and the increasing privatization of government functions. There's nothing progressive about that.
I have a clear memory of how I felt in my body and in my mind when I was really young and separated from my parents. I remember not feeling, and just being kind of confused and disassociated from reality. And I remember that when I was 'more present', my body and mind were nervous and fidgety. In my first and second years in India, I developed a nervous disorder called Trichotillomania, or compulsive hair pulling. I pulled out all of my eyelashes. Then I got made fun of, so I forced myself to stop so that I wouldn't get made fun of. No adult, teacher, older kid or nurse ever noticed. All I can say about it–in an internal sense–is that I felt like when I was pulling or picking or fidgeting that I was disappearing into an invisibility cloak of my own invention. No one bothered me when I was scrunched up into a little ball minding my own business. And that felt good. Eventually I started to cope with my nervousness through arts and crafts, knitting and needlework– at least as much as I could make time for. Many of us knitted with found yarn and lollipop sticks. Even if it was to knit something, take it out, and start over, that's what we did. So much of our time was spent with these odd, but self-soothing regimens.
Before the camps, the child swapping and the boarding schools, I was actually a confident, happy child. The separation chipped away at my self-esteem and my feeling of security and safety, both emotional and physical. I was able to fake cheerfulness at times, make jokes and laugh, but inside I was deeply insecure. And, gosh, there were so many unsafe situations. Too many to count really. Children getting struck by lighting at Ram Das Puri, Nav Jiwan Kaur falling to her death at Nambé falls, Ong Kar Kaur nearly drowning at Abiquiu, Me and my sister nearly getting killed in a Flash Flood while camping with "guardians"... Then there was the physical abuse, the emotional abuse, the sexual abuse, the neglect and the TOTAL lack of affection.
That last one, that's a major one. Greater than we ever thought. In the absence of it, you don't even know you need it to survive. In the absence of it–the part of you that makes you you–experiences a profound, physical and emotional loss. Your crucial, human sense of self is put at risk.
All of this, while we were supposedly part of a community that believed in love, and in raising the consciousness of the world through compassion, kindness and selfless service. I can't begin to imagine what the children in the I.C.E. detention centers are going through, while under the guardianship of politically motivated, profiteering xenophobes. Okay. Yes, the circumstances for our separation were different than what's happening now, but the resulting affects were no less profound. Separation affects on the mind, body and spirit are traumatic, not matter the circumstance.
Most of us survived and were able to build happy lives for ourselves, and many of us have had the therapy we needed to understand the long-term affects of family separation. This is all the more reason that as survivors we speak up against what our country is doing. We must be there for these children and their parents, in whatever way we can be–financial, political or vocal.
Let me finish with one last thing. I cannot believe, for the life of me, that people in 3HO Sikh Dharma still believe in sending their kids far away to India to attend Miri Piri Academy. It's unfathomable. It's appalling. It's shameful. It's criminal. It's worth noting that 3HO Sikh Dharma profits from the private I.C.E. Detention Centers. Some of the I.C.E. jails contract with Akal Security for the staffing of Corrections Officers. Akal Security is officially owned by 3HO Sikh Dharma, and the some of the profits from Akal Security are used to promote their new-age arm: Kundalini Yoga, White Tantric, Yogi Tea brand tea company, Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training seminars, and their sappy, saccharine music brands like Spirit Voyage and White Sun. This new-age arm puts forward a progressive image, but within its nesting doll structure of for-profit and non-profit entities, 3HO Sikh Dharma as a whole is benefiting from and enriching itself on the horrific policies of our government and the increasing privatization of government functions. There's nothing progressive about that.
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